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XN
keke was expecting her post since she online
and weee~ bingo XD
i feel like crying and laughing at the same time
i guess i failed again
she still can't understand everything i've said
she misunderstood quite a lot
'not exactly cold-hearted'
i've never said shes cold-hearted
i wonder wat is 'real me' to her
ppl grow, as they grow, they will change
where is the real them?
a person who always cries during a baby
does not means she/he will still always cry at the age of 12?
there are times ppl don even know they change
so wats 'can't change'?
and wats 'real me'?

hahahahah~ 'don know that shes not happy if she change?'
guess she really doesn't understand me does she?
she said b4... she hate to change i rmb but i tried to convince her so she won't feel it that way
i failed, nvm try again lo
keep trying keep trying to make her understand me
end up having countless of fights which is the most regretful thing i ever did
changed to having many posts which is this to make her understand,
to show her im not don understand her is she don understand how much i understand her
and how much i think
doesn't she knows that i doesn't like ppl to be unhappy?
can't tot of y im doing this?
how much stress i had since i discovered her mindsets?
is that qns telling me that 'im ignorant to her feelings?'
i say she might angry is jus say for the sake of not offending her for watever wrong stuff i've said
i might not know wat things i could have said wrong de ma
isn't this considerate?
and im ignorant to her feelings?

next most concern about me is the vex thing
ok i will understand if she said it in the post to hint me not to fan her now
but wat if is a no?
that sentence that deduce...no, predict me..... no, jump to conclusion about me
hurts me
i've did so much alr....there aren't even 10qns asked for like 3-4weeks!
i will always rmb wat she said
i've said i think so many things when she went genting
keep saying me don understand her
that troubles me a lot
then ok fine i ask those qns that only requires single word ans?
thats making her vex too?
the msg that said her vex and told me stop asking qns
is still in my phone...saved in draft
i will never forget that
whenever i have an impt sms that is said about her
i saved it...during holiday, to understand her, i even dug up the history of all her post in her blog copy and paste it to a doc to read it all over again
then i reanalsye it and of coz also her sms that were saved in my hp
so how can she say that?

2mindset combo together to form a impregnable defense
well i suppose i managed to make a small crack on it?
haha thats pathetic after so much i had done
wat shld i do now?
wait for her 'ans'?
or i jus advise her not to change anymore
then let time and reality shatter the defense in pieces?
that would be the most sudden and unbrearable pain
she can never understand wat im saying